True story: In Jim Mattis' high school yearbook, he was voted "most likely to succeed" and "most likely to have sex with every girl in this school." And, according to our sources, we're led to believe his quote was "I come in peace. I didn’t bring my homework. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all."
Now you can have a piece of that long-lost yearbook, with this photo of Mattis flanked by an epic laser light background. Now I know you're saying to yourself, wait, he doesn't look like he's in high school here. He's too old.
Bullshit. Mattis barely ages. He's like Yoda. Deal with it.