Clean On OPSEC Hand Wash

For hands that might be dirty, but not with leaked intel.

Scrub the secrets off in style with Clean On OPSEC—the only hand soap designed for those who’ve ever accidentally replied-all with war plans or dropped emojis in a classified chat. Whether you’re debriefing after a long day of “just vibes” foreign policy or simply trying to rinse the guilt off your fingertips, this gentle, floral-scented soap has you covered.

Formulated with 98% natural ingredients and zero classified material, it moisturizes while it purifies—because even if your group chat hygiene is questionable, your skin doesn’t have to be.

Features:
• 10.14 fl. oz. of unclassified cleanliness
• Warm, sweet scent—like victory, but without the congressional subpoenas
• Vegan, COSMOS NATURAL certified, and tested on absolutely zero Signal threads
• Comes with a pump dispenser for rapid deployment under pressure

How to use:
Apply to damp skin, lather up like you’re washing away the consequences of emoji-based diplomacy, and rinse. For external use only—we already have enough internal leaks.

Clean On OPSEC: Because some mistakes can’t be unsent, but at least your hands can be spotless.