Congrats On Promotion Card

Because with great power comes great blame.

Celebrate your favorite overachiever with this brutally honest promotion card. Whether they’re moving up in rank, getting that long-awaited title bump, or just earning a shinier target on their back, this card is the perfect way to say, “Congrats… and good luck with that.”

Featuring a delightfully sarcastic message and crisp toner-based printing, it’s perfect for slipping into a gift bag, taping to a locker, or handing over with a knowing smirk during the next awkward formation.

Specs:
• 14.77 oz/yd² paperboard—sturdy enough to survive the chain of command
• Vibrant, long-lasting print with military-grade sarcasm
• Includes complimentary envelope for stealth delivery

Perfect for:
• Promotions
• Reenlistments
• Anyone brave (or naive) enough to take command

Here’s to their next rank—and the mountain of emails that come with it.