Enemy Eyes Postcard

When you absolutely, positively need to remind someone they’re not alone in that Signal thread.

Featuring the now-infamous trio of international side-eyes—Kim, Xi, and Putin—this Enemy Eyes postcard is the ultimate satirical check on anyone who thinks their encrypted chat is truly private. Whether you’re sending it as a gag, a gentle warning, or a not-so-subtle dig at a friend’s group chat habits, this postcard delivers the message loud, clear, and surveillance-ready.

Printed on thick, high-quality matte paper with a coated outer surface, it’s durable enough to survive the mail… or a congressional hearing.

Specs:
• 4″ × 6″ of international paranoia
• 0.34 mm thickness—thin enough for the mail, thick enough to carry the weight of geopolitical judgment
• Matte finish with coated surface, because gloss is for secrets that stay buried
• Sourced globally, monitored locally

Send it to a buddy. Tape it to your laptop. Whisper your regrets to it. Just don’t add Pete Hegseth to the recipient list.