Proudly honoring the highest standard of being completely jacked up.
In the grand tradition of colorful military insults, few honors are greater than being told you’re “as fucked up as a football bat.” Now, you can wear that title with pride. The Football Bat Hat is for the warriors, the misfits, and the magnificent disasters who know that chaos isn’t a bug—it’s a feature.
With a classic structured fit, breathable mesh back, and an adjustable snapback, this trucker cap is mission-ready for anyone operating with bad ideas, good intentions, and zero logical outcomes.
Specs:
• 60% cotton, 40% polyester front panel—solid enough for even the most unstable situations
• 100% polyester mesh back—because airflow is critical when you’re trying to think through bad decisions
• Structured 6-panel, mid-profile design, built better than the plans you’re about to execute
• Pre-curved visor with matching underbill for shading from the blinding light of regret
• Adjustable plastic snapback—for a perfect fit, no matter how off-course you are
Perfect for:
• Boots, barracks lawyers, and beloved train wrecks
• Staff duty adventures and safety briefs gone sideways
• Anyone who’s ever been lovingly (or not-so-lovingly) compared to a football bat
You’re not broken—you’re tactical chaos.
Own it. Wear it. Wreak havoc.
