New Dependent Card

Congratulations on your new fireteam member.

Celebrate the arrival of the newest member of your unit—now with 100% more crying, pooping, and housing allowance eligibility. The New Dependent card delivers military-grade sarcasm and heartwarming sentiment in one perfectly grumpy little package.

Featuring a baby in full camo with an expression that says, “I didn’t enlist for this,” this greeting card is perfect for baby showers, first-time parents, or that buddy who just found out leave is now code for “diaper duty.”

Details:
• Printed on heavyweight 350 g/m² paperboard
• Toner-based printing with vibrant, cry-resistant colors
• Includes a complimentary envelope, perfect for stuffing with commissary coupons or emergency Motrin

Perfect for:
• Military parents
• Unit-wide baby announcements
• Reminding your buddy they now answer to a chain of command with no logic or mercy

Report for cuddles. Commence the chaos.